Oct 2010

[humourous self referencial title]

A bit of chat log between myself and my dear pseudo anonymous friend ‘Red’.

This chat is off the record
You: [ introductory line that was written in a humourous way but which falls flat when written down ]
Red: [ a reply that strokes your ego and lets you think that it was infact very funny ]
You: [ acknowledgement of advanced literary skills with an implied request for reassurance that you aren't, in turn, humouring me ]
You: [ rapid non-sequitor ]
You: [ in attempt to distract from neediness ]
You: [ spelling correction ]
Red: [ apology for slow reply ]
Red: [ reply to non-sequitor ]
Red: [ attempt at starting simultaneous conversation ]
You: [ counter apology for not getting back ]
You: [ attempt to blame 3rd party ]
You: [ question regarding the only thing remembered from yesterday's conversation ]
You: [ reply to non-sequitor reply ]
You: [ explaination that non-sequitor reply was not, in fact connected to conversation about yesterday ]
You: [ embarassed silence ]
Red: [ polite chuckle ]
Red: [ question regarding delicate subject that I find amusing but am trying not to show that I find it amusing ]
You: [ comment about co-workers in attempt to pretend question didn't happen ]
You: [ follow up comment that is ambiguous in nature and could be connected to above or could be answering your question ]
You: [ random swear words and technology type ]
Red: [ sympathy over tech, coworkers etc ]
Red: [ disbelief at tech, coworkers etc ]
You: [ attempt to imply these coworkers are worse than any other coworkers ]
You: [ unintended implication that suggests it could be me who is the one at fault ]
You: [ backtrack ]
You: [ self depricating comment with smiley face to imply that this is a joke when secretly I fear it's true ]
Red: [ comment to help cement the belief that yes, your coworkers are the worst ]
Red: [ hugs or similar to try to boost your mood ]
You: [ acknowledgement and reciprocation ]
You: [ innudendo ]
You: [ jokey dismissal of innuendo ]
You: [ question regarding husband / boyfriend / girlfriend intended to reassure that I appreciate that you are not available and innuendo was not a proposal ]
Red: I am so sorry – I have to stop because I have a non-sequitor that is too perfect not to say at this point…
Red: I saw some Japanese bondage on tv the othe night and thought of you

[ attempt to explain away bondage reference while knowing and acknowledging the fact that no-one who reads this will believe it ]

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