Jul 2010

Balistic Knickers

This is what happens when I don’t drink coffee in the mornings…

I was listening to Tom Jones chatting with Chris Moyles this morning. As is slightly predictable, the subject turned to the appearance of underwear appearing on stage.

The thing is, I know from my personal experience of throwing things at (and missing) the laundry bin, that clothing doesn’t fly very well. So, for every pair of knickers (panties to you for’n types) that land on stage, another dozen or so land on the heads of the people in the first few rows.

That’s not a result for anyone.

So, here is my shot at making millions and millions out of that still fresh phenomenon of throwing underwear at ageing singers…

Ultra whispy lightweight g-string or thong knickers, with mesh replacing the remaining fabric, and with industrial strength elastic in the waistband. With a little bit of practice, I think that you should be able to ping them – rubber band style – ten times as far as you could throw normal underwear.

And as a humourous bonus, the larger the underwear, the further the range. Although you might want to think again if it takes to people to aim them…

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  • 1

    Mon 2nd Aug '10
    17:23 UTC

    I always wondered if people took a spare pair to throw (used or clean) of whether they used the ones they had, in whihc case one just hopes that their outfits covered the necessary and/or it wasn’t too cold outside….

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