Apr 2009


As you all know (yes you do) I don’t normally remember any of my dreams. This last week I’ve remembered several of them. They’ve all been weird. Not “I was chased by a giant chicken that was actually my father but also a Ford mustang” weird, just “wtf” weird.

Take the one I had Friday night (which was helped by a bottle of port and a cigar)…

I ended up in a dream-induced lucid dream where I had my car stolen from apetrol station in Harlow. Phoning 999 connected me to a computer operator that tried to route me to the right type of policeman. Except it started getting difficult and started swearing at me, giving me options for how I wanted to swear back at it. “Press 1 to question sexuality. Press 2 to make allegations about parentage. Press 3 to make a phallic reference.” etc…

I decided to walk across the county line into Herts, where the computer was replaced with a real person. A real person who refused to help me because my car was stolen in Essex.

Back over the county line, the computer had decided to have a sulk and refused to connect me to anyone. Instead it started offering me options on how to sweet-talk it into doing what I wanted. “Press 1 to say something comforting. Press 2 to threaten with physical violence. Press 3 to compliment.”

I know that lucid dreaming involves being aware of your dream state and often lets you modify the dream yourself, but apparently my brain likes the idea of a Choose Your Own Adventure dream…

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