Aug 2008
21

Doctors

As most of you will know, I’m rather uncaring when it comes to my own health. I tend to ignore medical issues and anything that does turn up tends to be ignored.

But I’m crapping myself about the test results that I’m due tomorrow. My fasting glucose somehow turned into a complete cardiovascular and liver enzyme workup complete with an ECG. This isn’t a great sign.

The doc asked if I had any important family history… “Well, my father had diabetes and died of a diabetes related heart attack about six months before his replacement artery was predicted to fail, losing him at least one leg. My grandfather has had a long series of minor heart attacks, has angina and is currently refusing to die of pancreatic cancer. My grandmother has OldTimers, emphysema and asthma. My mother is an unknown quantity apart from the fact she’s an alcoholic. Oh, and my brother has high BP too.”

“I’ll take that as a yes then”, she replies.

Something tells me that the answer is either going to be diabetes (hardly a shock) or a heart problem. I already know I have high (but not dangerous) cholesterol, so it would hardly be a shock.

Moving up the morbidity stakes (what with this being such a cheery post so far) I’ve quite liked the idea of a heart attack as a way to die. Do it properly and it’s fast and the pain is major but brief. Pretty much the only other alternative is blowing a good sized blood vessel in the brain for speed and pain. And either of them let you joke about dying aged 90 whilst being ridden by an 18 year old nymphet…

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