I drove to work today in “little car” – our small hot-hatch. I drove the back roads to work and enjoyed myself immensely. Nothing desperately illegal, just enthusiastic driving.

Most of the way I had a little dark blue Ford Fiesta keeping perfect distance from me. When I overtook, it did. When I took the racing line, it did. When I clipped the apex, it did. When I dipped down onto the A14, it did. When I made a sprint past a lorry, it did. When I came back up the slip road, it did.

The lights turned red ahead of us. There are three lanes – two to turn left and one to go right. Lane 1 is taken. I stop on the line in lane 2. The Fiesta stops on the line in lane three.

I glance to the right and the driver who’s been playing road games with me is a beautiful lass in her early twenties, who smiles and gives me a thank you nod.

I nod back, and look back towards the lights.

A few moments later, she briefly beeps her horn. I look towards her. She smiles at me and winks. Then accelerates past the light as it turns green, cuts across, and goes left down ‘my’ lane.

They’re evil, I tell you…

Obviously, this is a work of fiction. I’d never do anything like that…

BMW E12 (1972 – 1981)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user sweens308 ]

BMW E21 (1975 – 1983)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user shebab ]

BMW E24 (1976 – 1989)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user DocKeR47 ]

BMW E23 (1977 – 1986)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user jesuspark ]

BMW E26 (1978 – 1981)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Toni P1 ]

BMW E28 (1981 – 1988)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user KillerPM ]

BMW E30 (1982 – 1994)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user motoyen ]

BMW E32 (1986 – 1994)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Sherlock77 (James) ]

BMW E34 (1988 – 1996)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user barjack ]

BMW E31 (1989 – 1999)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user volnick1986 ]

BMW E36 (1990 – 2000)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Ham Hock ]

BMW E38 (1994 – 2001)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user timheuer ]

BMW E39 (1995 – 2004)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user the_gorilla ]

BMW E46 (1998 – 2006)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user brigaid ]

BMW E85 (2002 – 2008)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user ]

BMW E65 (2002 – 2008)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user plien ]

BMW E63 (2003 – )

[ creative commons picture from flickr user xrrr ]

BMW E60 (2004 – )

[ creative commons picture from flickr user plien ]

BMW E81/E82 (2004 – 2007)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user wongdood ]

BMW E86 (2006 – 2008)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user rimblas ]

BMW E89 (2009 – )

[ creative commons picture from flickr user k_LAU ]

Jeep CJ-2A (1945-1949)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user MrBigDog2k ]

Jeep CJ-3A (1949-1953)

Jeep CJ-5 (1954-1983)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user jacksnell ]

Jeep CJ-7 (1976-1986)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user dave_7 ]

Jeep Wrangler YJ (1987–1995)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Jim Epler ]

Jeep Wranger TJ (1997–2006)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user H-Y-P-E ]

Jeep Wrangler JK (2007–present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user SandShoes ]

Alfa Romeo 1900 (1950–1959)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user HenryFigueroa ]

Alfa Romeo Giulietta (1954–1965)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Count Rushmore ]

Alfa Romeo 2000 (1958–1961)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Count Rushmore ]

Alfa Romeo 2600 (1961–1968)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user daviddaviddaviddaviddavid ]

Alfa Romeo 2000GTV (1971–1977)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user "ANITA.trans - My way of life" ]

Alfa Romeo Alfetta (1976–1980)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Templar1307 ]

Alfa Romeo 75 (1985-1992)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user dave 7 ]

Alfa Romeo 145 (1994–2001)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Pete B Robinson Photography ]

Alfa Romeo 156 (1997–2007)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Ruud Raats ]

Alfa Romeo 147 (2000-present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Morphey ]

Alfa Romeo 159 (2005-present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user sgatto ]

Peugeot 204 (1965-1976)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user mazdamiata ]

Peugeot 304 (1969–1980)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user mwanasimba ]

Peugeot 505 (1979-1992)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user JosideLusarreta ]

Peugeot 205 (1983—1996)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user DerekL ]

Peugeot 405 (1987–1997)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user DerekL ]

Peugeot 306 (1993–2002)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user goodcatmum ]

Peugeot 406 (1995–2003)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Syl2m ]

Peugeot 206 (1998–present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Seo2 ]

Peugeot 307 (2001–2008)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user kenjonbro ]

Peugeot 207 (2006–present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user superciliousness ]

Peugeot 308 (2007–present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user superciliousness ]

The first version of the Land Rover was designed to replace an ageing Jeep that Rover’s chief designer Maurice Wilks used on his farm in Wales. It was a utilitarian affair designed to use parts that were already lying around the Rover factory. The doors could be removed or halved in height, the roof could come off and the windscreen could be collapsed down…

Land Rover Series I (1948-1958)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Ian Fuller]

Land Rover Series II (1958-1961)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user JohnnyRokkit]

To anticipate the pedants, the photo of the ‘Series II’ is almost certainly a Series IIa model since the owner claims it was built in 1962, however the II and IIa versions were virtually indistinguishable. The model shown below as a IIa is, in fact, a IIa facelift version…

Land Rover Series IIa (1961-1971)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user kenjonbro]

Land Rover Series III (1971-1985)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user FoToGuns]

Land Rover Defender (1990-2007)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user nasebaer]

Land Rover Defender (2007-)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user miki2605]

911 Classic (1964–1975)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user aresauburn]

930 (1975 – 1989)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user CCCPxokkeu]

964 (1989–1993)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user daveoflogic ]

993 (1993–1998)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user daveoflogic]

996 (1998–2004)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user daveoflogic]

997 (2004–present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Germanspotter]

Finally, a quick look at the current lineup of non-911 type Porsches…

Cayenne

[ creative commons picture from flickr user kenjonbro]

Panamera

[ creative commons picture from flickr user userexfordy ]

Boxster

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Michi1308]

Cayman

[ creative commons picture from flickr user kenjonbro]

The Mark 1 Golf is one of those truly iconic cars for people my age. The GTI was on the scene just as I was starting to realise that it wasn’t just the supercars that were worth drooling over.

[ All images taken from the Wikipedia VW Golf article ]

Mark I (1974-1984)

Mark II (1985-1991)

Mark III (1991-1997)

Mark IV (1997-2003)

Mark V (2003-2009)

Mark VI (2009-)

It’s interesting (no, really) to compare the front of certain marques over time…

First up, is 40 years of Volvo…

Volvo 140 series (1966–1974)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Schockwellenreiter ]

Volvo 66 (1975 – 1980)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Schockwellenreiter ]

Volvo 200 series (1974 to 1993)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user dhwright ]

Volvo 300 series (1976–1991)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user dvnijhof ]

Volvo 700 series (1982–1998)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user mirius ]

Volvo 850 (1992–1997)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user masolino ]

Volvo S70 (1997-2000)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user merfam ]

Volvo S40 (2004–present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Birdfreak.com ]

Volvo C30 (2006–present)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user themullett ]

Volvo S60 Concept (expected 2009)

[ creative commons picture from flickr user Daniel Reversat ]

No-one would tell you that the S60 looks anything like the 140, but hopefully you can see the progression that has gone on here.

What happens in the future is anyone’s guess.

Personally, I would guess that…

• those lights will continue to sweep backwards up the wings
• the wings themselves are getting smaller and turning into continuations of the hip line that runs down the window sills
• the grill will get slightly deeper and drop down more, in the same general look that Audi is using.

Except that we run a Skoda Octavia which gets 33.5mpg compared to the 34mpg that it should get. And our little Toyota Corolla gets between 38mpg(for me) and 41mpg(for GB) compared to the 38mpg that it should get.

Now, remember that GB is a relatively slow driver, who takes her time, changes gear at (too) low revs and is generally a rather nice person. And I’m not. I tend to attack the road rather vindictively and carry lots of speed through junctions so that my insane fuel sapping acceleration is as limited as possible.

So… can I please have my Skoda Octavia vRS diesel now? 0-60 just as quickly as my tank, but faster round the twisty bits and (allegedly) capable of 49mpg?

The discount will be funded 50/50 by the government and the industry.

Before you party too much, lets take a look at the figures…

You know that £2000 50/50? Well, car manufacturers are amongst the only industry to have put their list prices up this year. A Ford Focus convertible (for example) is a £1000 more expensive than last year. That £1000 that will now be discounted in this scheme.

You know the carbon that this will save? Well, lets assume you drive a ten year old Jeep Cherokee 3.7l Automatic – you know, a good low emissions car. That chugs through 333g of carbon/km. Replacing it with a new car will generate 10-20000lb of carbon. I’ll do the maths for you… you could do 17,000miles on the carbon generated just by the production of your new car.

Assume you replaced your Jeep with a Prius. That Prius is still generating 103g/km… So with the fuel your Prius has burnt on those 17,000 miles, you could do another 6,000 miles in the Jeep.

You’re looking at over 25,000 miles before the Prius’ even coming close…

So, we’re supporting a crap industry who are ‘discounting’ money they’ve already added while the world is in recession. We’re pumping out carbon for no gain. We’re destroying our future classic cars by crushing good quality cars that have yet to start appreciating back up past the £2000 mark.

I put in a Freedom of Information Act request regarding the 13 miles of speed averaging cameras that monitor the road between Cambridge and Huntingdon.

Like all such cameras they are front facing, so they can’t catch motorbikes and they have to deal with the glare of headlights. This doesn’t seem much like a ‘safety’ measure to me. If you want to encourage safe driving, surely you would want to have an effect at night, when the roads are more dangerous? You’d also want to keep an eye on those soft and squidgy fast moving types on motorbikes, wouldn’t you? If all you were interested in was making some money, wouldn’t you aim the cameras at the front of the cars where you can take photos of the drivers of cars?

So, I asked for information on how many cars, bike and lorries were given fines every months, broken down by time of day. My expectation was that there would be no bikes at all and that cars and lorries wouldn’t be caught at night.

The response came back today.

Cambridgeshire Police have refused the request on the grounds of law and health and safety…

“For camera enforcement to be truly effective there must be the perception that the chances of being recorded are high at all times”.

“The disclosure of specific data on camera sites would make camera deployment less effective, which would impact on the safety of road users at large”

So, in short, they have refused to tell me about the effectiveness of speed cameras on reducing speeding because they don’t work well enough for the data not to make people think they are crap.

Well done boys…

Anything from this point onwards has been brought over from a different site. Unfortunately comments haven’t come over with them, so the sparkling wit my words generate isn’t here. Unless commenters are as bored as I was when I started the transfer.

For the record “Sodium Lights The Horizon” means nothing. It was a random phrase that came from a random conversation. It seems strangely lyrical but google returned zero hits on the phrase. Simple as that…

1 – I may have made that up. But you believed it, didn’t you…?